We address the guest list a significant amount here at IVORY+ink Collective. Why? Because it is a key determinant of the type, style, and most importantly, budget of your wedding. But we rarely discuss the “who” and “why” of your guest list. Generically we all want to be surrounded by our family and friends to celebrate this momentous occasion, but at what cost? It may be time to ask yourself some serious questions about your guest list.
With Coronavirus still looming, within the states that are able to host weddings, a growing concern among couples is who on the guest list will be able to attend. It is a truth that there will be a senior generation that might not be able to attend and for sure those guests that are immunocompromised. Then there will be guests from out of town that may not come due to travel bans and ultimately some guests simply will not be comfortable attending a social gathering of any size. So now, the “who” carries more weight. Are there people on your guest list that you would postpone your entire wedding for so that they can attend? Is there a single person that could cause you to reschedule? Looking over your guest list, is there someone, or a few someones, that if they did not attend would ruin your wedding day?
Perhaps “ruin” is a harsh word, but the reality is those guests have a great deal of power over your wedding and your budget. These days, rescheduling a wedding (even with the virus still at play) will cost you additional fees on top of what you have already invested into your wedding. Is it worth the cost for one or two guests not to attend? Are you willing to re-plan your entire wedding day so the majority of your guests will be able to attend? You will have to move vendors, send out date change notifications (which may result in other guests not being able to attend), and increase your wedding budget.
With those must-have guests in mind, you now have to ask yourself “why?”. Is the reasoning of this person not attending valid and reasonable? If not, then does it make sense to change your plans for someone who doesn’t value witnessing your wedding day? Is this guest essential to the complete happiness of your wedding day? Is it more important to you or your parents/in-laws that these guests attend? Where is the line drawn of people who must be at your wedding and those that would love to watch the live-stream?
You may also ask yourself why you are having a wedding. It may seem obvious – to marry the love of your life and start a new life together. This is true! So if that is the ultimate goal, what else matters? Getting to the root of why you are having a wedding sometimes adds a new perspective. Does anyone else really matter as long as your significant other is there to share vows? Yes, it is extreme, but elopements are trending. So it begs the question again – WHO must to be there on your wedding day and WHY?
Contributing Photographer: Silver Bear Creative